I am not here to add or dismiss anything spoken in favor or against them. I am a parent. I am a parent committed to “kingdom come” in my parenting. One moment I was filled with righteous anger at the evil unleashed on the man of God, the next moment the spiritual knees of this fearful mommy hit the floor with deep anguish that escalated to anxiety and panic as I cried out, “God, is there any point in doing what we are doing? If evil precedes, why do we pour our life into equipping the next generation?”
I battled there on my spiritual knees conflicting thoughts Vs scriptures, till faith emerged with the call not to give up, for the outward man was perishing, but inwardly, my soul was being renewed. I decided to fix my eyes on things unseen. I am young and inexperienced. I am unschooled, and have not raised a child beyond age 6, but I have been walking with the Lord just enough to know that on this side, I need to fix my eyes on things unseen or else I will lose this battle.
As I do that, this is what I add to my faith;
Do not lose hope.
It is easy to lose hope in a culture that determines your worth by your work. Merciless statistics dictate hopelessness in my soul. This time, I am not buying it. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. (Proverbs 13:12) I want what I do here to matter as I leave the results to God. If I am hoping for what is still unseen, then I will wait for it with patience and composure (Romans 8:25). I will yet hope again, since the hope of glory dwells in me. I am going to hold fast the confession of my hope without wavering because He is a faithful God. Hebrews 10:23.
And I know in the end, hope will not disappoint me because my love for God and His love for me is bigger than any expectation I have from any labor or stewardship and this love has been poured out into my heart by the Holy Spirit. Everything I do here, I will do with hope in the faithfulness of God who has also promised me abundant hope for this journey-Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
God does not measure your success on how your children turns out, but by how faithful you are.
Through out the scriptures I saw examples in parenting or mentoring that have turned out with mixed results. Eli was confronted with not correcting his sons in their evil ways, but the sons Samuel raised walked in evil ways too. David was a man after God’s own heart, yet his sons were not. David’s prayers for Solomon were not answered in one sense when Solomon used his will to rebel against God’s laws. Paul had the privilege to be the spiritual father of a great man Timothy, but Demas who was with Paul deserted him because he loved the world.
While I am here on this earth, as I serve my stewardship, I will pour all my energy into speaking promises of God over my children. I will pray with them, for them, teach them, battle for them, equip them and love them. Knowing in all these things, I am not raising perfect saints fit for pulpit, but needy sinners fit for the cross. My mission is done, if one day when ( not if) they sin and are brought down, they remember that there is a God who forgives and wants to restore them to the plan He has for them and receive that mercy into their lives, not that they know how to “climb the many ladders” around them.
It is not about me; Its about God and the story He is writing.
When I envision about future, there is a strong urge in me to see me as the crowned queen in the land of normalcy. Where my hope always conceives and perfection is always a constant. Not so in this fallen, earthly life. God is sovereign and He has been writing a story. It is about Him and His glory. He does what He pleases. Yet, we are not puppets that He moves around, but thought worthy enough by Him to leave that glory and die for. There is pain, heartache, joy, and every other emotion represented in this story. Through all this, to the one who trust in Him, He offers the invitation to see and be part of the perfect joyful ending of the story!
On this side of eternity, normal and perfect are not default. As much as I hate changes and failures, I accept it, knowing God is good enough, big enough, to take the messes, sanctify me through them, and someday by His grace will bring me to a land where there is no more changes, no more imperfection, no more pain, no more discouragement, no more failures, no more giving up and the imperfection is gone and perfection reigns.
It is a good time to review our motive. ( The “why’s” of the “what” we do)
In my mind, the Christmas pictures and the thanksgiving dinners in the future are intact and picture perfect. Like the Olan Mills shots, they play in my mind with perfection and I can hardly imagine tragedy, pain, strife on those reels. When there is nothing godly about assuming and incorporating tragedy, I need to constantly remind myself that normal is not my inheritance, but a Sovereign God’s merciful allowance, wherein He could have been right in the denial of it too.
When overwhelmed by the pain and suffering around us, it is a good time to review our motives in why we do what we do. I am not to invest in my children to get a return investment as an old age security insurance for me. They are not my post retirement aids. My investment in their lives is not the down payment to materialize my expectation or my mastermind scheme to eat that perfect thanksgiving dinner, year after year. Rather I resolve (by grace), to pour my life as an offering to God as I invest in the next generation and give God the right to decide what He wants to do with the lives of my children.
I draw insights from the Father’s parenting.
God the perfect father, fathered two kids in the perfect environment with perfect fellowship. Yet they used their wills to say yes to the lust of their eyes, lust of flesh and pride of life! When man sinned, Father pointed them to the covering that He had made for them from a slain animal. I am rehearsing to do the same. When my children sin, I will point them to the covering He prepared through the lamb that was slain. That is what I am called to do. The rest is His mercy..
One day faith shall become sight, hope will become reward and I will see clearly.The things that are unseen now, shall become sight. As I behold my hope of glory, He will perfect that which concerns me and my labor will not be in vain in the Lord.