When Death Cannot Become Anymore Colder

So, there is a theory that every seven years there is a change cycle. Marriages rot and decay to the seven year itch. Relationships change and people move on.

Every year for the last seven years we find ourselves driving to this place an hour away, caught up in the hot bumper to bumper traffic and angst inducing wait behind the wheels of an unending convoy; people trying to reach somewhere… the next moment leaving the traffic behind and entering the serenity of Forest Lawn.

The place where our daughter sleeps.

Six years to this country as immigrants, breaking the 401K was enough to buy her a piece of land in that serene hills. But 401 k was not the only thing that death broke into for resting in peace. It broke our hearts, our equilibrium as we knew it then and 401 other things that we can list.

While there I am  thankful for the ground. The ground that holds her headstone. We sit down and tell our children, below is your sister sleeping. “Is she scared?” the younger ones ask. “No,” we wipe tears and nod, “she does not know any fear. She sleeps good.”

“Can’t we see her?” Yes, One day and we are looking forward to it.”  “Will she look scary?”  I am thankful the ground covers it all well, the younger ones are not scared.

I take the little one and try explaining about the glorified body, yeah sort of like your superman. He runs away speaking some lines of his super power. I sit there, I feel the ground that does not cover it all well, reminding me of the decay within. I try to remember the lines of that Super Power. The serenity and the peace of Forest Lawn stands as a backdrop so powerless against the true decay happening just few inches under that ground cover.

The weight of my heart pulls me downwards to the ground, to know that peace from rest. I also know the power of hope that pulls me upwards more alive to the purpose of God.

Changes don’t happen in graves. Seven year itch don’t happen to the rot and the decay in the graves. Death cannot become anymore colder and hearts cannot become anymore braver. Memories cannot become anymore clearer as the days that are gone by are forever older.

While feeling the ground, I tell myself the truth.

“The creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.” Romans 8:21

There are couple of lessons we always learn when we sit by her grave just above the decay and rottenness.

Decay is a reality  but death is swallowed up in victory. Yes, she is decaying, I try not to put faces to decay. Insanity creeps close to and runs parallel to the search for hope. Hope comes in and swells up the mind with faith, and faith holds on until the day the Lord comes and death is swallowed up in victory. 

 Hearts cannot become anymore braver, death cannot become anymore colder and memories cannot become anymore clearer because changes don’t happen to death. Not yet.

Death and decay steals away everything and when nothing else remains, I get up from the ground telling myself, only these three things remain- faith, hope and love. Believing in the promises can turn our love warmer and hope newer and faith stronger.

His promises reverse the decay of unbelief in my soul.

Changes don’t happen in graves, but they do everyday in my heart, because He who will reverse decay one day, has started so from my heart today. 

Hallelujah! Death has been swallowed up in victory and decay will one day be reversed into glory. 

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3 Comments

  1. Renju,
    We feel your pain and loss. May God comfort you and your family. You are right when you say…”only these three things remain- faith, hope and love. Believing in the promises can turn our love warmer and hope newer and faith stronger.” God be with you in our journey as Hannah lives with our heavenly father.

    Liked by 1 person

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