The lines “What I want for Christmas…” is a cliche I have heard over three decades of Christmas. Lists have been made and promises broken over it. A week later, on the New Years eve, another list is formed, lives made and remade on them. I am a person who makes list and then hates them for the fact that they are there. My creativity don’t like taking orders- submission has not reached my mental faculties, yet 🙂
For that reason I purpose in my heart to make a list. I am not making a list to speak to me, I am making myself speak to a list. My list has one and the same resolve from me to the thousands of situations this year.
I want to preach the gospel to myself. Situations may change but I want to do the same. I want to preach to myself this year.
- So, when I feel like a failure and blow it out of proportions, I want to preach to myself that yeah..I am the chief of sinners and God’s grace abounds to the chief. I want to tell myself to stop loaning the condemning eyes of frail men and start viewing me thru the compassionate eyes of my Father who never condemns.
- When rejection beckons to take a stroll on its streets of painful bondage, I want to preach to myself the gospel of adoption and purpose that a living God has for me and to reject that invitation to rejection even when I see it lurking around the corner.
- When fruits are dormant and leaves are fallen, when my trunk looks dried and hopeless, when I can’t satisfy my Lord who passes by, I want to preach to myself that productivity in God’s economy is not doing more, but being and abiding. Survival lessons learned in dry seasons are needed for life coming ahead.
- When I am lonely amid my thriving Facebook friends, and somehow feel less connected even when the notification bar on my phone shows all connections, I want to preach to myself that there is a reality that is beyond the virtual reality-that virtual is not the new real. I want to preach to myself to invest in the real and that God would give me His heart and His people.
- When there is a mount of work to be done and I am lost in procrastination, I want to preach to myself to be faithful to the little, is the way to conquer and be the ruler of my mount.
- When expectations are not met and hurt wells up, when my sacrifice or love is overlooked and I am abused, I want to preach to myself to entrust myself to the righteous judge continually; and forgive people for who they could only be. I also want to tell myself to look and wait for the Spirit opening doors to move forward and to be courageous not to get stuck in places of abuse.
- Other times when I want to call quits prematurely, when I think I have had enough of becoming small and doing more, when I cannot go anymore lower to become smaller, and somehow God does not seem to be answering, I want to preach to myself to persevere like in the story of the poor persistent widow who persevered and got an evil judge(!) to meet her needs, and to endure.
- When it feels like I have been waiting forever and prayers seems to go unnoticed; When I am tempted to say, God doesn’t see me but everyone; everyone, but you remain on the battle field, you are confused and wonder if it’s worth it, I want to preach to myself, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.” Job 13:15. He has plans to prosper me and give me a future and hope. Jer 29:11
I am praying for a year where Acts 19:20 would happen in my life and in the lives of those around me.
So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily. Acts 19:20
The word prevail has the meaning becoming mighty or gaining strength in that verse. I can’t imagine the results of the word of God gaining strength over all these situations in our lives. Without a doubt, that will be kingdom come and so be it Lord!