You Took My Ewe Lamb and Made a Feast for the Visitors- A Lament

A lament of a missionary who survived a mob betrayal and soul rape at the hand of the keeper of her soul.

All I had was a ewe lamb. I worked hard to get this lamb. It took all my resources to raise this lamb. I paid much to sustain this lamb. I named her Testimony. She fed on my sacrifices from morning to evening. I had very little, but I gave up what I had to feed her. In the morning she crawled up to me to awaken the dawn and at night I thanked God as I laid her on my lawn.

Her tales spread far and wide and brought many passers-by to our door. We took in the passers-by and made them citizens and more.

We opened our home and we invited aliens. We shared our rooms for the needy with radiance. There were people we fed and people we raised while growing our Testimony on the lawn as she grazed. We thought the people we helped were cherishing our Testimony. They ate from our bowl and drank from our cups. We lived lives together and made much merry. In the end it turned to be somewhat all phony!

Oh! We showed grace, we embraced, and messy did we get. We cared for and we taught and evil did we fought. We rebuked and we helped and we went empty more than once. All the while we thought and believed we were infact one.

You were the king who took care of us and felt safe under your care. You put the light on our Testimony, you increased our influence and the expansion of the Kingdom was in continuance.

You were a king, you reported to the Great King  and you and I know that our King was delighted.

One day people came to you, yes 12 families like you always say, and they demanded a feast. They wanted business with your influence. Some had money bags and some had titles.

They said,

“O king, many are the opportunities that comes thru Testimony, while we are not sure its all profit for monies. Sure the tell tales of Testimony we have heard, but do you know they have oppressed us to keep their Testimony growing? They don’t deserve this Testimony any way, she is fat and overrated and constantly bleating!

Oh, you heard, you listened, you gave in to their pleas.

Your mind was made while you they contrived to appease.

All I had was my Testimony and the opportunities that came thru her. I couldn’t part with her, Oh, no she was mine! She brought delight to me and she was all that I had. I constantly took joy at the Testimony the great King gave me. I had given away my everything to build your kingdom. I was empty and broken by the evils that I fought while mending your peoples hearts, marriages and broken parts.

I didn’t know testimony was standing in the way of the business. Oh my poor testimony! You slaughtered her for your people.

I had seen people looking at her with contempt. Was it her fatness that invoked envy out of their shriveled mind?  Was it her whiteness that stirred up the prankful humankind?  or did it all just start out to show me I didn’t actually deserve Testimony or is it the rancid thoughts of corrupt minds that wanted to rip Testimony apart?

The talk of Testimony was brewing  in all the business circles. I have come to see what the agitation it encircles. 

Oh, you let them rip apart my Testimony, Oh, you didn’t give me a fair trial!

There is blood on your hands O king, to the great King I appeal!

You made a feast for your visitors with my only ewe lamb, when you had plenty that you wouldn’t touch from your own. 

O Great King, see the injustice that is done, after I gave everything, they took away my only ewe lamb!

They came in hordes, yes 12 families they were. From the ones who were raised in my home to the one who came yesterday. They demanded my ewe lamb on whom they poured black tar, and they said they were after all trying to get on par.

This was your time as evil unleashed, for all the evil we fought, we were impeached!

Oh, my Testimony, my poor Testimony, you were raped by the men and the women we served. Her purity destroyed and her existence erased. My heart broken and in the way I lay when one by one they walked by me. My honor was gone and my comfort was none. They jeered and they cheered as they accused some ton.


And then it sprouts, oh hope does not deceive. The Great King visits and her life she receive. She is not white and she is all marred. She wakes up from the sleep and reminds me, “I cannot die. I cannot be put down. See my black tar, they are my scars! They will help you tell a story that reaches even  afar.”



  1. Hi Renju, Didn’t understand the exacts of this piece but sounds sad . Excuse me if I’ve interpreted it wrong but if any of it has to do with you hosting families , feeding us by your hard work, establishing us in this country and repairing marriages, pls. Know,  Renju, that I ,for one am eternally grateful. I’ve made it a point to let u know this before too but a reminder never hurts. I may have hurt ur feelings or erred as a human,  but never ever wished your or your ewe any ill. Your sadness was mine and your happiness,  mine too. I really mean this. I am happy to see you and the whole family using everything u have for the Lord – that is what you wanted too. I hope this is a renewed chance to nurse your ewe back to perfect health. 



    1. Thank you Nimmy Thomas for taking the time to respond. I can see you affirming your love and gratitude. The feelings are mutual and I commend you for not being afraid to associate with the wounded. This piece was not a ranting but a lament. A lament is warranted only where love existed in the first place. Thank you for being happy for us. That means a lot!


  2. Oh my friend, your ewe lamb is not hurt but gloriously fed by the tar poured on her. It is not only a painful nourishment but absolutely an essential nutrient for her to feed on, if she has to live pass your life. For her to be immortal, you know!


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